Just Thinking Out Loud: Regarding one college mascot in particular...

Years before Ole Miss finally "settled" on the average Bear -- more specifically, the smallest and most common omnivore on our continent -- the original options to replace Colonel Reb also raised a considerable ire among the Rebel faithful.  Upon further review, however, perhaps an updated version of the Colonel on steroids (left) wasn't so bad after all.

Sunday's Quote: Return to Oxford

Galvanized by the prospect of drawing awareness to the University of Mississippi's self-inflicted mascot debacle, I wedged myself out of bed Saturday morning after another grueling shift at the Hub and visited Ole Miss for the first time since last March to join a contingency of like-minded individuals bent on keeping the memory of Colonel Reb alive.

Gameday in Oxford is a special experience.  Especially in October.  Loyalists by the tens of thousands have pilgrimaged to The Grove for generations, almost without regard to the Rebels' historically inconsistent gridiron performance, in the interest of assembling with their fellow Southerners to extol the insular attributes of all that sets Ole Miss enthusiasts apart from everyone else.  Heck, they revel in it.

Who the hell are we? ... Ole Miss, by damn!

The campus atmosphere is infectious from the moment you arrive.  And this, in part, is central to why many object to the banishment of their mascot -- a symbol that both embodies a regional vibe and externalizes certain idiosyncrasies that go far in transcending the obstinance of the past.  In essence Colonel Reb, over a period of decades, became the principal emblem of what draws so many thousands to Ole Miss in the first place.

Some people take issue with that.  Some say that the depiction of what appears to be a plantation owner -- that was never official, by the way -- has no place in the 21st century.  Indeed considerable efforts have been made to either rewrite, or erase the past altogether by redefining that which makes Southerners who they are.  Evidently those opponents are unaware of how that favor, as it were, could be returned at least threefold.  But I digress.

Because the Colonel has been dismissed by the very individuals who should have been front and center to defend him, the forced acceptance of inessential change amid this era of hypersensitivity has left many to consider the cultural wax and wane, unwanted by most, that assuredly lays ahead.

The future, of course, is unknown.  And while the uncertainty is pervasive, it never takes away from the moment.  Not at Ole Miss.  Last Saturday, amid the inviting scenery and perfect weather, a near-record crowd marched in unison out of The Grove, through Whiskey Alley, and onto Vaught-Hemingway Stadium to watch the Rebels battle the top-ranked Auburn Tigers.  And for just a little while, everything was alright -- even after Ole Miss fell, 51-31.

The rally I was told about, for the record, never came to fruition.  But that was irrelevant because I was in Oxford, and simply being there was enough.  The ambiance, all by itself, makes the 75-mile trip worthwhile.  As a wise man once said, Ole Miss is mood, emotion and personality. ... The University is respected, but Ole Miss is loved.

That, too, could be said for its retired Colonel.

"...in Oxford lies, as promised, the most magical place on all of God's green, football-playing Earth: the Grove.  A school of red and white and blue tents swimming in a shaded 10-acre forest of oak trees, floating in an ocean of good will and even better manners ... Yes, they drink bourbon and eat boiled peanuts and finger sandwiches from sterling-silver platters and serving dishes arranged by caterers and frantic moms on elaborate tabletops.  They partake in front of flat-screen TVs with DirecTV, underneath chandeliers and amongst intricate candelabras and ornate flower arrangements. ... Because that's what the Grove really is: a place for adults.  A secret place run, governed and funded by grown-ups.  Sure, the students drink their booze and scarf their food.  But they also lug the tents in at 4 a.m. (often for $100 or more).  It's as if the Ole Miss'ians have swindled their Li'l Miss'ians into attending only so they themselves have an excuse to come back."

-- Sports Illustrated; September 27, 2004

Sundays' Quote: 140-character maximum, pt. 2

Having initially questioned Twitter's usefulness, I now understand both its purpose and appeal.  Continuing a post from last June, the following is a list of my favorites from the past four months, 75 in all, that go far to convey in a limited amount of words that which I sometimes have difficulty expressing in lengthy diatribes:

1) "Clearly we have forgotten those who painstakingly dug the wells from which we still draw water.  Look to God & the Founders, America!"
-- August 14
 

2) "Hey Islam: Lan astaslem."
-- June 30
 

3) "It's better to be a hard-line Conservative than a no-line Liberal."
-- August 24
 

4) "I don't always need to induce vomiting.  But when I do, I prefer MSNBC.  Stay thirsty my friends."
-- September 1
 

5) "What is hypocrisy?  Howard Stern calling Rush Limbaugh 'vile'."
-- June 9
 

6) "Some of us aren't surprised by Helen Thomas because some of us are aware that Liberals frequently cultivate ridiculous nonsense."
-- June 6
 

7) "California: where marijuana is acceptable and cigarettes are ethically reprehensible."
-- October 10
 

8) "It's interesting to see Perez Hilton take part in the no bullying campaign when his career was built on ripping people to shreds."
-- October 7
 

9) "Being a Feminist originally meant that you demanded equality.  Now it simply means that a man hasn't asked you out for a date in 10 years."
-- August 23
 

10) "Once we were a thinking people.  Now we are an emotional people.  The difference is profound."
-- June 5
 

11) "God will only allow us the leaders we deserve.  The further from Him we get, the worse our leadership will become."
-- July 14
 

12) "Ronald Reagan defeated Jimmy Carter and Walter Mondale by a combined electoral tally of 1014-62.  How?  By being Conservative."
-- September 8
 

13) "I understand that he's 'historic', but please understand: Obama's not 'The Chosen One'.  He's just another politician."
-- June 24
 

14) "Al Sharpton's most recent rant, which entailed comparing Obama to Jesus, is pretty much par for the course at this point."
-- August 12
 

15) "For the record, when Obama says that his salvation relies upon our collective salvation as a society, that is NOT Biblical."
-- August 3
 

16) "It seems we lend too much legitimacy to the perspective of 'commentators' whose paycheck depends upon whether or not they make us laugh."
-- June 18
 

17) "Say what you want about Glenn Beck, you freaking liberals, but he's only guilty of loving this country more than you do."
-- September 1
 

18) "And remember kids, it's only okay for Democrats to have money."
-- June 13
 

19) "Of the 10 wealthiest politicians in Congress, seven are Democrats, which proves that it's only okay for the Left to have lots of money."
-- September 2
 

20) "Terms like 'frenemy', 'chillax', & 'bromance are being added to the Oxford Dictionary of English.  The end is definitely near."
-- August 22
 

21) "George Steinbrenner tried to fire God earlier today, to which the Almighty replied, 'Go to Hell'."
-- July 13
 

22) "Charles Krauthammer's comment about the Left's 'social engineering hubris' was spot-on.  He's hardcore."
-- June 25
 

23) "I'd prefer to be born wealthy instead of devastatingly handsome.  Being really, really, ridiculously good looking isn't all that great."
-- October 1
 

24) "Unemployed with a pending felony charge to boot, Alvin Greene won S.C.'s Democratic Senate primary w/o running a full campaign.  Silly Dems."
-- June 9
 

25) "Ozzy Osbourne is Rolling Stone's new health columnist.  I'm guessing Amy Winehouse wasn't available."
-- July 4
 

26) "The older I get, the more I appreciate Van Halen's first six albums."
-- October 16
 

27) "Venezuelan tyrant Hugo Chavez has threatened to cut his oil supply to the U.S.  I'm sure Oliver Stone is thrilled."
-- July 29
 

28) "Oliver Stone called George Bush a 'devil', but he places Hugo Chavez and Raul Castro on a pedestal.  Only Liberals praise our enemies."
-- July 22 ("Stephen Marche's piece about Oliver Stone in the most recent edition of Esquire is a must-read." -- September 23)
 

29) "Chris Matthews says new anti-illegal immigration plan is '...just pandering to angry White people'.  Hey Matthews, f--k off."
-- July 1
 

30) "Gallup shows Independents swinging strongly toward GOP because Dems have become 'too liberal'.  Thanks Obama, Matthews, Olbermann, et al."
-- July 1
 

31) "Liberals are good at being cool.  That's their m.o.  Conservatives must get better at being right.  That's our calling."
-- September 9
 

32) "When everyone else sees a belligerent aggressor, liberals only see a potential voter."
-- August 20
 

33) "A Google search on Samir Shabazz turns up practically no mainstream sources.  Ah, but if a 'cracker' dared to spew such rhetoric..."
-- July 11
 

34) "Those who 'hate' on Christopher Columbus exhibit some degree of naiveté.  If not the Spanish, explorers would have come from elsewhere."
-- October 11
 

35) "Whether it's 'Cordoba House' or 'Park51', the proposed mosque at Ground Zero is a 13-story monument to Islam's desire to dominate America."
-- July 15
 

36) "I will build a big Christian church near Mecca & preach about tolerance.  I'm sure Muslims would have no problem with that whatsoever."
-- September 13
 

37) "I am officially calling for Islamic Shari'a law to become more Constitutionally compliant."
-- August 29
 

38) "The guy who plans to burn a bunch of Qurans on 9/11 is going a bit overboard.  But the worldwide slaughter of Christians by Muslims is okay."
-- September 8
 

39) "I came to do two things: kill terrorists and drink beer.  Looks like we're out of beer."
-- September 11
 

40) "Perhaps Tom Brady is taking too much grief for his hair.  If Gisele Bundchen is your wife and she tells you to let your hair grow, you do it."
-- September 22
 

41) "Who the (expletive) is Justin Bieber to make fun of Tom Brady's hair?"
-- October 15
 

42) "Joe Montana endorsing Skechers feels wrong."
-- June 8
 

43) "Should it bother me that my football hero, four-time Super Bowl champ Joseph Clifford Montana, endorses Skechers?  Because it does."
-- August 26
 

44) "Hey atheists, save your comments about the 60-foot Jesus statue burning in Ohio.  Just like the real thing, it will rise again."
-- June 15
 

45) "Secularists of any sort have accomplished nothing without standing on the shoulders of Christian giants."
-- July 3
 

46) "LeBron's manufactured drama might backfire."
-- July 7
 

47) "So which is it LeBron: Team Edward or Team Jacob?"
-- July 8
 

48) "Revis wants $160 million.  The Jets are offering $120 million.  Personally, I'd be glad to take the Jets offer.  But that's just me."
-- August 11
 

49) "Pay-Rod just smacked his 600th home run, and yet I find myself wondering if Snookie would consider him a 'gorilla juice head'."
-- August 4
 

50) "China's Deng Feng 21D missile is being called an aircraft carrier 'killer'.  But we still have Chuck Norris.  Advantage: USA."
-- August 6
 

51) "China might challenge America on the economic front, but they have nine-day traffic jams that stretch for over 60 miles.  Advantage: USA."
-- August 24
 

52) "So Orlando Bloom is engaged to my girl Miranda Kerr.  Who cares?  I'm not jealous.  Nope.  Not me.  No sir.  Not one little bit."
-- June 21
 

53) "So, some hockey dude married my future wife, Carrie Underwood.  Perhaps a vicious body check into the boards would teach him a lesson, ay?"
-- July 12
 

54) "It seems Marc Lamont Hill has the unique ability to speak very fast without saying anything at all."
-- September 27
 

55) "The biggest reason people watch Bill O'Reilly?  They know something will be shown from the Left that will cause their jaw to hit the floor."
-- September 29
 

56) "Newsmax ('The Great Right Hope') could buy Newsweek.  Karma.  Lane Kiffin ditching the Vols & landing at USC amid scandal.  Also karma."
-- June 10
 

57) "Oh wow, someone else called Sarah Palin a racist because they disagree with her.  How shocking and original."
-- July 20
 

58) "The new Ole Miss mascot finalists are a lion, bear, horse, land shark, & something called 'Hotty & Toddy'.  And they're all fraudulent."
-- July 24
 

59) "Clearly the Ole Miss loss to Jacksonville St. is attributable to God's disapproval of Colonel Reb's absence."
-- September 4
 

60) "No matter what the U. of Mississippi administration says or does, Colonel Rebel will always, always, always be THE Ole Miss mascot."
-- September 30
 

61) "Come to think of it, the 'Rebel Bruiser' option to replace Colonel Reb at Ole Miss wasn't so bad after all."
-- October 10
 

62) "The new Ole Miss mascot will be recognized by the administration only.  Everyone else knows who the real face of the Rebels will always be."
-- October 14
 

63) "Conan O'Brien wants Ole Miss to return his masturbating bear."
-- October 14
 

64) "Continuing the jokes I've been hearing, "Parker/Spitzer" sounds like something for which a salacious individual would pay a lot of money."
-- October 4
 

65) "Earlier today Goldberg & Behar demonstrated, quite perfectly, how the truth hurts the Left (hypersensitive hacks)."
-- October 14
 

66) "The only thing worse than The View is Kathy Griffin on The View."
-- June 17
 

67) "Somehow I'm actually offended that Justin Bieber's 'Baby' has garnered 253,368,895 hits on YouTube.  It just isn't right."
-- July 21 (Note: As of October 17, the number of hits the aforementioned video has received now exceeds 359 million.)
 

68) "It's amazing how entertained we are by complete crap."
-- July 5
 

69) "Who needs that iPhone 4 anyway?  I'm still rockin' the rotary, yo."
-- June 24
 

70) "I think too much is made of Tom Cruise's couch jumping on Oprah.  Cult member or not, it really isn't that big of a deal."
-- July 3
 

71) "Inexplicably, Baskin-Robbins is retiring its French Vanilla flavor of ice cream. COMMUNISTS!!!"
-- July 18
 

72) "CNN's Sanjay Gupta and LiveScience.com say Darth Vader exhibited criteria for borderline personality disorder.  So do half the people I know."
-- June 12
 

73) "Our last four Presidents have been embarrassments, our economy sucks, & the Gulf is filled with oil.  A World Cup win today would be nice."
-- June 23
 

74) "I'm afraid Miley Cyrus is well on her way to becoming just like Britney.  Let's hope she resists the temptation to shave her head."
-- October 12
 

75) "It seems that I'm naturally inclined to hate both the player and the game."
-- September 17

Just Thinking Out Loud: Never really gone (a story in pictures)

You will always be the only mascot that matters, Colonel.

As the college football season approaches...

"Thirty thousand fans don't pack into The Grove at Ole Miss to spend time under the oak trees as individuals.  Rather, we go there to take part in something greater..."

Golf Digest editor Matt Ginella toured The Grove during a rainy, but otherwise pleasant day at Ole Miss in October 2009.  Ignore the first 35 seconds of his six minute piece and have a look at what this visitor from New York was surprised to find in Oxford, Mississippi:

Gone (officially), but far from forgotten

I walked into a gas station this morning around 4:45 a.m. for a pick-me-up to recover from my nightly beating at FedEx when I observed a Commercial Appeal headline that I've been anticipating for some time.

Back in 2003 when the Colonel Reb mascot contention first reared its ugly head, I traveled 70 miles south to Oxford, Mississippi for five of the Rebels' seven home games to assist a fledgling upstart called The Colonel Reb Foundation with the intention of drawing awareness, at the very least, to this self-inflicted issue that originated from then-Ole Miss Chancellor Robert Khayat.  Little was accomplished ultimately, but it was refreshing to find more support for the Colonel than the apathy I initially expected.

In the administration's defense, one of the two replacement options wasn't that bad; "Rebel Bruiser" was a somewhat younger and more upright version of the Colonel with bulging biceps, a mischievous grin, and strangely enough, a midriff-bearing shirt that would look more appropriate on the likes of Britney Spears (in her breathtaking prime, of course).

It was clear from the beginning that the Colonel's "outdated image" (the original rationale for his removal) was a shroud for something deeper.  Although every poll has shown overwhelming support for the Colonel, many detractors continue to stand on the premise of slavery and segregation as cause for his elimination -- ironic considering the often disregarded cultural imperfections typified by those who insist that Colonel Reb is but a reminder of slavery.  Indeed a relatively brief (but painfully honest) assessment of history exposes the hypocrisy of such claims in mere moments.

UM brass continue to promise that "Ole Miss" and "Rebels" will remain part of the University lexicon, but it is only a matter of time before these tribal identities become subjects for derision as well.  And once they, too, are eliminated, the Ole Miss that many know and love will be officially gone forever.