As one would likely assume from the pure joy upon my countenance, I've been working the night(mare) shift at the FedEx World Hub in Memphis, Tennessee since mid-2005, during which time I can recall having a scant three "good" nights. Considering the past five years and three months, this means that my colleagues and I are afforded a "good" night at work once every 21 months.
"Hey Adam, why don't you just get another job?"
That's a great question. In fact, that's possibly the deepest and most profound question anyone has ever asked. I wish I had thought of that because you make it sound so simple, as if new employment grows deep within a magical forest where bushels of one hundred-dollar bills have just come into bloom.
As luck would have it, this otherworldly place also happens to be located next to a charming little village, unmarked on any map, that's populated with nothing but beautiful women who are only too happy to fulfill your every wish.
The stark reality of the matter is exceedingly more brutal. Although unemployment trends over the past several years (or more) should have me grateful to have a job at all, the long-term effects of earning a paycheck in the most overtly demanding work environment I've ever experienced, by far, has me -- like so many others -- searching high and low for a miracle that just is not there.