Sundays' Quote: 140-character maximum, pt. 2

Having initially questioned Twitter's usefulness, I now understand both its purpose and appeal.  Continuing a post from last June, the following is a list of my favorites from the past four months, 75 in all, that go far to convey in a limited amount of words that which I sometimes have difficulty expressing in lengthy diatribes:

1) "Clearly we have forgotten those who painstakingly dug the wells from which we still draw water.  Look to God & the Founders, America!"
-- August 14
 

2) "Hey Islam: Lan astaslem."
-- June 30
 

3) "It's better to be a hard-line Conservative than a no-line Liberal."
-- August 24
 

4) "I don't always need to induce vomiting.  But when I do, I prefer MSNBC.  Stay thirsty my friends."
-- September 1
 

5) "What is hypocrisy?  Howard Stern calling Rush Limbaugh 'vile'."
-- June 9
 

6) "Some of us aren't surprised by Helen Thomas because some of us are aware that Liberals frequently cultivate ridiculous nonsense."
-- June 6
 

7) "California: where marijuana is acceptable and cigarettes are ethically reprehensible."
-- October 10
 

8) "It's interesting to see Perez Hilton take part in the no bullying campaign when his career was built on ripping people to shreds."
-- October 7
 

9) "Being a Feminist originally meant that you demanded equality.  Now it simply means that a man hasn't asked you out for a date in 10 years."
-- August 23
 

10) "Once we were a thinking people.  Now we are an emotional people.  The difference is profound."
-- June 5
 

11) "God will only allow us the leaders we deserve.  The further from Him we get, the worse our leadership will become."
-- July 14
 

12) "Ronald Reagan defeated Jimmy Carter and Walter Mondale by a combined electoral tally of 1014-62.  How?  By being Conservative."
-- September 8
 

13) "I understand that he's 'historic', but please understand: Obama's not 'The Chosen One'.  He's just another politician."
-- June 24
 

14) "Al Sharpton's most recent rant, which entailed comparing Obama to Jesus, is pretty much par for the course at this point."
-- August 12
 

15) "For the record, when Obama says that his salvation relies upon our collective salvation as a society, that is NOT Biblical."
-- August 3
 

16) "It seems we lend too much legitimacy to the perspective of 'commentators' whose paycheck depends upon whether or not they make us laugh."
-- June 18
 

17) "Say what you want about Glenn Beck, you freaking liberals, but he's only guilty of loving this country more than you do."
-- September 1
 

18) "And remember kids, it's only okay for Democrats to have money."
-- June 13
 

19) "Of the 10 wealthiest politicians in Congress, seven are Democrats, which proves that it's only okay for the Left to have lots of money."
-- September 2
 

20) "Terms like 'frenemy', 'chillax', & 'bromance are being added to the Oxford Dictionary of English.  The end is definitely near."
-- August 22
 

21) "George Steinbrenner tried to fire God earlier today, to which the Almighty replied, 'Go to Hell'."
-- July 13
 

22) "Charles Krauthammer's comment about the Left's 'social engineering hubris' was spot-on.  He's hardcore."
-- June 25
 

23) "I'd prefer to be born wealthy instead of devastatingly handsome.  Being really, really, ridiculously good looking isn't all that great."
-- October 1
 

24) "Unemployed with a pending felony charge to boot, Alvin Greene won S.C.'s Democratic Senate primary w/o running a full campaign.  Silly Dems."
-- June 9
 

25) "Ozzy Osbourne is Rolling Stone's new health columnist.  I'm guessing Amy Winehouse wasn't available."
-- July 4
 

26) "The older I get, the more I appreciate Van Halen's first six albums."
-- October 16
 

27) "Venezuelan tyrant Hugo Chavez has threatened to cut his oil supply to the U.S.  I'm sure Oliver Stone is thrilled."
-- July 29
 

28) "Oliver Stone called George Bush a 'devil', but he places Hugo Chavez and Raul Castro on a pedestal.  Only Liberals praise our enemies."
-- July 22 ("Stephen Marche's piece about Oliver Stone in the most recent edition of Esquire is a must-read." -- September 23)
 

29) "Chris Matthews says new anti-illegal immigration plan is '...just pandering to angry White people'.  Hey Matthews, f--k off."
-- July 1
 

30) "Gallup shows Independents swinging strongly toward GOP because Dems have become 'too liberal'.  Thanks Obama, Matthews, Olbermann, et al."
-- July 1
 

31) "Liberals are good at being cool.  That's their m.o.  Conservatives must get better at being right.  That's our calling."
-- September 9
 

32) "When everyone else sees a belligerent aggressor, liberals only see a potential voter."
-- August 20
 

33) "A Google search on Samir Shabazz turns up practically no mainstream sources.  Ah, but if a 'cracker' dared to spew such rhetoric..."
-- July 11
 

34) "Those who 'hate' on Christopher Columbus exhibit some degree of naiveté.  If not the Spanish, explorers would have come from elsewhere."
-- October 11
 

35) "Whether it's 'Cordoba House' or 'Park51', the proposed mosque at Ground Zero is a 13-story monument to Islam's desire to dominate America."
-- July 15
 

36) "I will build a big Christian church near Mecca & preach about tolerance.  I'm sure Muslims would have no problem with that whatsoever."
-- September 13
 

37) "I am officially calling for Islamic Shari'a law to become more Constitutionally compliant."
-- August 29
 

38) "The guy who plans to burn a bunch of Qurans on 9/11 is going a bit overboard.  But the worldwide slaughter of Christians by Muslims is okay."
-- September 8
 

39) "I came to do two things: kill terrorists and drink beer.  Looks like we're out of beer."
-- September 11
 

40) "Perhaps Tom Brady is taking too much grief for his hair.  If Gisele Bundchen is your wife and she tells you to let your hair grow, you do it."
-- September 22
 

41) "Who the (expletive) is Justin Bieber to make fun of Tom Brady's hair?"
-- October 15
 

42) "Joe Montana endorsing Skechers feels wrong."
-- June 8
 

43) "Should it bother me that my football hero, four-time Super Bowl champ Joseph Clifford Montana, endorses Skechers?  Because it does."
-- August 26
 

44) "Hey atheists, save your comments about the 60-foot Jesus statue burning in Ohio.  Just like the real thing, it will rise again."
-- June 15
 

45) "Secularists of any sort have accomplished nothing without standing on the shoulders of Christian giants."
-- July 3
 

46) "LeBron's manufactured drama might backfire."
-- July 7
 

47) "So which is it LeBron: Team Edward or Team Jacob?"
-- July 8
 

48) "Revis wants $160 million.  The Jets are offering $120 million.  Personally, I'd be glad to take the Jets offer.  But that's just me."
-- August 11
 

49) "Pay-Rod just smacked his 600th home run, and yet I find myself wondering if Snookie would consider him a 'gorilla juice head'."
-- August 4
 

50) "China's Deng Feng 21D missile is being called an aircraft carrier 'killer'.  But we still have Chuck Norris.  Advantage: USA."
-- August 6
 

51) "China might challenge America on the economic front, but they have nine-day traffic jams that stretch for over 60 miles.  Advantage: USA."
-- August 24
 

52) "So Orlando Bloom is engaged to my girl Miranda Kerr.  Who cares?  I'm not jealous.  Nope.  Not me.  No sir.  Not one little bit."
-- June 21
 

53) "So, some hockey dude married my future wife, Carrie Underwood.  Perhaps a vicious body check into the boards would teach him a lesson, ay?"
-- July 12
 

54) "It seems Marc Lamont Hill has the unique ability to speak very fast without saying anything at all."
-- September 27
 

55) "The biggest reason people watch Bill O'Reilly?  They know something will be shown from the Left that will cause their jaw to hit the floor."
-- September 29
 

56) "Newsmax ('The Great Right Hope') could buy Newsweek.  Karma.  Lane Kiffin ditching the Vols & landing at USC amid scandal.  Also karma."
-- June 10
 

57) "Oh wow, someone else called Sarah Palin a racist because they disagree with her.  How shocking and original."
-- July 20
 

58) "The new Ole Miss mascot finalists are a lion, bear, horse, land shark, & something called 'Hotty & Toddy'.  And they're all fraudulent."
-- July 24
 

59) "Clearly the Ole Miss loss to Jacksonville St. is attributable to God's disapproval of Colonel Reb's absence."
-- September 4
 

60) "No matter what the U. of Mississippi administration says or does, Colonel Rebel will always, always, always be THE Ole Miss mascot."
-- September 30
 

61) "Come to think of it, the 'Rebel Bruiser' option to replace Colonel Reb at Ole Miss wasn't so bad after all."
-- October 10
 

62) "The new Ole Miss mascot will be recognized by the administration only.  Everyone else knows who the real face of the Rebels will always be."
-- October 14
 

63) "Conan O'Brien wants Ole Miss to return his masturbating bear."
-- October 14
 

64) "Continuing the jokes I've been hearing, "Parker/Spitzer" sounds like something for which a salacious individual would pay a lot of money."
-- October 4
 

65) "Earlier today Goldberg & Behar demonstrated, quite perfectly, how the truth hurts the Left (hypersensitive hacks)."
-- October 14
 

66) "The only thing worse than The View is Kathy Griffin on The View."
-- June 17
 

67) "Somehow I'm actually offended that Justin Bieber's 'Baby' has garnered 253,368,895 hits on YouTube.  It just isn't right."
-- July 21 (Note: As of October 17, the number of hits the aforementioned video has received now exceeds 359 million.)
 

68) "It's amazing how entertained we are by complete crap."
-- July 5
 

69) "Who needs that iPhone 4 anyway?  I'm still rockin' the rotary, yo."
-- June 24
 

70) "I think too much is made of Tom Cruise's couch jumping on Oprah.  Cult member or not, it really isn't that big of a deal."
-- July 3
 

71) "Inexplicably, Baskin-Robbins is retiring its French Vanilla flavor of ice cream. COMMUNISTS!!!"
-- July 18
 

72) "CNN's Sanjay Gupta and LiveScience.com say Darth Vader exhibited criteria for borderline personality disorder.  So do half the people I know."
-- June 12
 

73) "Our last four Presidents have been embarrassments, our economy sucks, & the Gulf is filled with oil.  A World Cup win today would be nice."
-- June 23
 

74) "I'm afraid Miley Cyrus is well on her way to becoming just like Britney.  Let's hope she resists the temptation to shave her head."
-- October 12
 

75) "It seems that I'm naturally inclined to hate both the player and the game."
-- September 17

Damn Yankees

The Evil Empire won its record-setting 27th Fall Classic last night (it's not really a "World Series," a term used since the 19th century). I'm no fan of the Bronx Bombers, obviously, and I have delighted in telling anyone who would listen that the Pinstripers were evidence of how team chemistry can't be bought -- $200 million payroll and all.

While the Yanks finally proved me wrong, thus ending my nine year streak of reveling in their defeat, I pout mostly over George Steinbrenner's success. Although he no longer oversees the day-to-day operations -- leaving the job to his biological proxy, Hank -- "The Boss" is as well-known for his pursuit of costly free agents as he is for deriding them.

Steinbrenner shelled out contracts worth more than $420 million combined to CC Sabathia, A.J. Burnett and Mark Teixeira last off-season, according to a recent piece on Comcast.net Sports. That's in addition to the $275 million the Yankees handed Alex Rodriguez the year before, not to mention the $189 million Derek Jeter got after the Yanks won their previous championship nine years ago.

Instead of instituting a legitimate salary cap in the name of competitive balance like every other major sport in America, Commissioner Bud Selig opted to focus on revenue sharing (pro sports socialism), which he justified by concurrently implementing a luxury tax against teams with the deepest pockets -- like the Yankees -- whose combined salaries often exceed the threshold established by MLB's collective bargaining agreement.

In other words, Steinbrenner & Co. owe some debt of gratitude to the other franchise owners who essentially allow them to spend astronomical sums of money without retribution (as long as they stay out of the red).

Despite everything, it's Steinbrenner's characteristic flair, for lack of a better way of describing it, that inspires the odium felt by fans such as myself. Steinbrenner fired 10 different general managers before almost miraculously settling on Brian Cashman over 10 years ago. Steinbrenner has also changed managers an unbelievable 20 times in his colorful history, including the firing of Billy Martin on five separate occasions.

Steinbrenner even called a press conference after the Yanks' Game 3 loss to the Dodgers in the '81 World Series to show off the "injuries" he claimed to have sustained in an elevator fight with a couple of Dodger fans. Steinbrenner's accusations were never corroborated, and the event led some to believe that he made the story up to light a fire under the Yankees.

It didn't work. The Yanks lost the series in six games.

Go ahead and call me a "hater." I acknowledge that the Yanks do whatever it takes to win, and that is commendable to a point. But it doesn't engender the fidelity that will allow them to fully emerge from the shadow of glory days past. Thanks to Steinbrenner, the present-day Yankees have become less a team and more a greedy corporate entity willing to spend in the neighborhood of a quarter-billion dollars -- profit margins be damned -- for a single ring.