Thursday, July 8, 2010

A little bit of sexism (and a whole lot of truth)

A short story called "The Husband Store" was recently brought to my attention.  The author is unknown, and although he or she is clearly an epic thinker, I have taken the liberty of cleaning it up just a bit.  Enjoy --

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City.  Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store only once.  There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights.  The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So a woman -- we'll call her Herodias -- goes to the Husband Store to find a man.  On the first floor the sign reads: Floor 1 - These Men Have Jobs.

Herodias is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads: Floor 2 - These Men Have Jobs & Love Kids.

"That's nice," she thinks, "but I want more."  So Herodias continues upward.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These Men Have Jobs, Love Kids, & Are Extremely Good Looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

Herodias goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These Men Have Jobs, Love Kids, Are Extremely Good Looking & Help With Housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, Herodias goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: Floor 5 - These Men Have Jobs, Love Kids, Are Extremely Good Looking, Help with Housework, & Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is tempted to stay, but goes to the sixth floor anyway, where the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.  There are no men on this floor.  This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.  Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.  The first floor has Wives that Love Sex.  The second floor has Wives that Love Sex, Have Money & Like Beer.  The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.


Holly said...

Oh look, more bitter jokes about how unhappy married people are. I suppose it's meant to be funny...:\

AMW said...

It was intended as a lighthearted jab, nothing more.

a red voice said...

LOL!!! - thanks for the laugh :-) Thanks for visiting my blog, enjoyed reading yours too! Keep up the good work!