The epitome of "extravagantly pretentious and overexposed"

A few days ago I wrote somewhat disparagingly about my girl Kim Kardashian, referring to her as the above-subject title indicates. The picture to the right, however, is a before-and-after of a woman who, despite their similarities, is tragically becoming the anti-Kim in every way.

You probably know about Amy Winehouse (for all the wrong reasons), even if you're not familiar with her retro brand of music. However difficult it is to believe that the picture you undoubtedly stared at for more than a few moments is the same person, this human bong receptacle serves as a prime example -- perhaps warning is the more proper term -- of why one is better off avoiding alcohol and drugs altogether.

And why that statement still requires such an overabundance of repetition after all these years is beyond me.

Calamitous eccentricities notwithstanding, Winehouse is both an iconoclast and a walking contradiction. According to a recent piece on Comcast.net, her backstage demands for a single performance include two bottles of red wine, a case of Lager, a bottle of vodka, champagne and Courvoisier, 40 Marlboro cigarettes, and amazingly enough, access to the nearest gym.

"They tried to make me go to rehab, I said 'No, no, no.'"