The root of Southern hospitality

I've heard it questioned many times: What's the big deal about the South? Why is it Southern hospitality? Aren't people from other regions nice, too?

The short answer only adds to the fuel of this rather patronizing debate, especially in regard to those who view the South as a mere breeding ground for the most undesirable members of our ever changing society.

But then a more comprehensive rebuttal evokes accusations of abiding by a "neo-Confederate fantasy" rife with Lost Cause folklore that's ordinarily commingled with charges of endorsing every imaginable position of hate.

So what's a Southern boy to do?

Yours truly all but looks for a fight when it comes to defending my defenders -- warts and all -- especially in this age of political correctness and social hypersensitivity. And why? Because it's necessary. Further, I do not concern myself with falsified labels from those who are filled with more animus than I could ever be. Call me a bigot, or anything of the sort, and I'll laugh in your face.

Although I've deviated from what was originally intended to be written, I must confess that going on a tangent about the War Between the States is always tempting because the fact that such an event actually occurred lies at the very heart of my treatise.

To the point, there is something about this thing called "Southern hospitality." Cynics can say what they want, but there is a shared predilection among the descendants of the former Confederate nation that appears to be lacking among the other regions of our blessed Republic.

Take, for instance, a recent piece from LiveScience.com managing editor Jeanna Bryner. Entitled "Happiest U.S. States Pinned Down," Bryner referenced a study that listed the 50 States (and the District of Columbia) in order of their well-being.

And coming in at #1 is, surprisingly enough, Louisiana. In fact there were six Southern States -- Florida, Tennessee, Mississippi, South Carolina and Alabama included -- in the top 10, and no portion of the Southern Commonwealth finished lower than 28th.

Imagine that -- the most backwards and financially deficient States with the highest cholesterol levels and the lowest SAT scores are generally happier, and thus, more hospitable than their affluent rivals. Feel free to draw your own conclusions.

The epitome of "extravagantly pretentious and overexposed"

A few days ago I wrote somewhat disparagingly about my girl Kim Kardashian, referring to her as the above-subject title indicates. The picture to the right, however, is a before-and-after of a woman who, despite their similarities, is tragically becoming the anti-Kim in every way.

You probably know about Amy Winehouse (for all the wrong reasons), even if you're not familiar with her retro brand of music. However difficult it is to believe that the picture you undoubtedly stared at for more than a few moments is the same person, this human bong receptacle serves as a prime example -- perhaps warning is the more proper term -- of why one is better off avoiding alcohol and drugs altogether.

And why that statement still requires such an overabundance of repetition after all these years is beyond me.

Calamitous eccentricities notwithstanding, Winehouse is both an iconoclast and a walking contradiction. According to a recent piece on Comcast.net, her backstage demands for a single performance include two bottles of red wine, a case of Lager, a bottle of vodka, champagne and Courvoisier, 40 Marlboro cigarettes, and amazingly enough, access to the nearest gym.

"They tried to make me go to rehab, I said 'No, no, no.'"

Just Thinking Out Loud: Heisman screw job

I need to make sure that I'm clear on this issue: The running back that led the nation in yards and touchdowns with 10 games over the century mark, including three games of at least 200 yards, and who led his school to its first winning season in eight years despite a freshman quarterback and an overall lack of talent and depth, lost the Heisman Trophy to another running back who, despite being surrounded by a slew of NFL prospects, was twice held to less than three yards per carry.
 

During any other time, such an oversight might seem strange.

Sunday's Quote: Against overwhelming odds

I was enjoying a nice Sunday afternoon drive through Collierville -- one of my favorite things to do -- when I began pondering a recent blog post about war, which in turn reminded me of something I read a few days ago in regard to the heroic exploits of Charles Martel.

Greatly outnumbered, Martel led the Carolingian Franks to victories over the invading Umayyad Caliphate amid the Islamic Expansion Era -- most notably at the Battle of Tours (or Poitiers) in central France -- which prevented Muslim forces from advancing further into Europe, likely saving Christendom at that point in history from the same aggressor that America (among others) are essentially facing today.

Though some modern scholars now question the importance of Martel's defeat of Europe's would-be conquerors -- courageously creating elements of doubt over 1,200 years after the fact -- it's clear that the Italian poet Dante Alighieri had numerous reasons to write of Martel as one of the "Defenders of the Faith," not the least of which centered upon his bravery in the face of a hostile and potentially vanquishing adversary.

This brings me to the selected quote, which I pulled from the 2006 movie, 300. Reportedly "90% accurate," the story of Spartan King Leonidas and his men standing in defense of their people and their land speaks of a kind of valor that scarcely exists any longer, which was undoubtedly epitomized by Martel and his men some 1,200 years after the Battle of Thermopylae.

Although this particular exchange is largely fictional, there is no question that Leonidas's resistance to even the most seemingly generous peace offering was key to the survival of his people. Instead of saving himself, as most would have, the Spartan King stood his ground:

Leonidas: Let me guess. You must be, Xerxes?

Xerxes: Come Leonidas, let us reason together. It would be a regrettable waste, it would be nothing short of madness, were you, brave King, and your valiant troops to perish all because of a simple misunderstanding. There is much our cultures could share.

Leonidas: Oh, haven't you noticed? We've been sharing our culture with you all morning.

Xerxes: Yours is a fascinating tribe. Even now, you are defiant in the face of annihilation and the presence of a god. It isn't wise to stand against me, Leonidas. Imagine what horrible fate awaits my enemies when I would gladly kill any of my own men for victory.

Leonidas: And I would die for any one of mine.

Xerxes: You Greeks take great pride in your logic. I suggest you employ it. Consider the beautiful land you so vigorously defend. Picture it reduced to ash at my whim. Consider the fate of your women.

Leonidas: Clearly you don't know our women. I might as well have marched them up here, judging by what I've seen. You have many slaves, Xerxes, but few warriors. It won't be long before they fear my spears more than your whip.

Xerxes: It is not the lash they fear. It is my divine power. But I am a generous god. I can make you rich beyond measure. I will make you warlord over all Greece. You will carry my battle standard to the heart of Europa. Your Athenian rivals will kneel at your feet if you will but kneel at mine.

Leonidas: You are as generous as you are divine, O King of Kings. Such an offer only a madman would refuse. But the, uh, the idea of kneeling, it's... You see, slaughtering all those men of yours has, uh, well, it's left a nasty cramp in my leg, so kneeling will be hard for me.

Xerxes: There will be no glory in your sacrifice. I will erase even the memory of Sparta from the histories. Every piece of Greek parchment shall be burned, and every Greek historian and every scribe shall have their eyes put out and their tongues cut from their mouths. Why, uttering the very name of Sparta or Leonidas will be punishable by death. The world will never know you existed at all!

Leonidas: The world will know that free men stood against a tyrant, that few stood against many, and before this battle is over, that even a god-king can bleed.

Guilty Pleasures: Kim Kardashian

I don't care about your promiscuity, or that you're extravagantly pretentious and overexposed. I'd marry you tomorrow.

Of course, I would have the nuptials annulled a few days later, and getting checked for some insidious disease that you might've transmitted to me is a given. But still...

Tebow, religion, and the Heisman

It's odd -- we lionize our athletic paragons for the slightest feat of accomplishment, but we are just as likely to deride these men for even attempting to hold themselves to a "higher standard," which is possibly why we celebrate their mistakes as much as their achievements.

While the number of athletes who are known for endorsing various measures of ethics and morality is seemingly endless, perhaps none other is noted for the specific demonstrations of his Faith as University of Florida quarterback Tim Tebow.

You almost certainly know who this guy is, even if you don't follow college football, and that's somewhat difficult for a lifelong fan of the University of Tennessee to admit (because he always beats us). But however much I scorn Tebow on game day, I laud him every bit as much for his consistent and effortless Christian witness, which is tragically lacking in most of those who claim redemption in the Cross.

Although Tebow caught some flack from ESPN Radio's Freddie Coleman and Sirius XM's Scott Ferrall (among others) after last Saturday's 32-13 loss to Alabama in the Southeastern Conference title game when comparisons were drawn to the Bible verse written on his eye black {John 16:33 in this case} and the loss itself -- implying "Where was God? -- one might've forgotten what Tebow has done in his four years at the University of Florida.

So here's a refresher:

Tim Tebow has won three Southeastern Conference division titles, two conference championships, and two BCS national championships. A former Associated Press Player of the Year, Tebow is also a two-time All-American and has been selected All-Southeastern Conference three times, along with being honored as both the Southeastern Conference Player of the Year and its Scholar-Athlete of the Year.

Additionally, Timothy Richard Tebow is a recipient of the Maxwell Award (twice), the O'Brien Award, the Harley Award, the Sullivan Award, the Manning Award, the Campbell Trophy, and of course, he was the first sophomore to win the Heisman Trophy. He's also the first quarterback to both pass and rush for at least 20 touchdowns in a single season.

Tebow's on-field accomplishments do not necessarily legitimize Christendom (I'm an adherent myself), but nobody ever says "Where was God?" when a Believer is victorious. The antagonist only says such a thing if a Christian happens to lose, as if one is "born again" just to win everything. And no position of deliberate skepticism could be more superficial.

With the Heisman Trophy -- the most prestigious award in college football -- about to be given, and with the field of potential recipients still wide open, your humble correspondent has compiled his very own list in the name of clarity. Take a gander...

Winner: Toby Gerhart (RB, Stanford) -- 311 rushes, 1,736 yards, 26 TDs
-- Not only did Gerhart lead the nation in both rushing yards and touchdowns, but he's also the predominant force behind Stanford's first winning season in eight years.

2. C.J. Spiller (RB/KR/PR, Clemson) -- 201 rushes, 1,145 yards, 11 TDs; 34 receptions, 436 yards, 3 TDs; 918 kick/punt return yards, 5 TDs
-- The one I chose to replace Tim Tebow on the official list of nominees who will be in New York City on Saturday night, Spiller's triple threat talent as runner, receiver, and return specialist is the biggest reason for Clemson's spot the ACC title game.

3. Mark Ingram (RB, Alabama) -- 249 rushes, 1,542 yards, 15 TDs; 30 receptions, 322 yards, 3 TDs
-- The primary offensive catalyst for the top ranked and SEC champion Crimson Tide, Ingram would have been higher on the list had both Arkansas and Auburn not held him to under three yards per carry.

4. Ndamukong Suh (DT, Nebraska) -- 82 tackles, 12 QB sacks
-- Having managed statistics in a single season that most defensive tackles would love to have in two seasons combined, he also made life miserable in the Big 12 title game for the guy I placed fifth.

5. Daniel "Colt" McCoy (QB, Texas) -- 330 completions, 70.5 completion %, 3,512 yards, 30 total TDs
-- A sentimental favorite, last year's runner-up will probably rank higher in the final tally by voters who will take his career stats into account (over 14,000 total yards and 130+ combined touchdowns) more than they should.

Honorable Mention
(ranked #6-15)

Case Keenum (QB, Houston) -- 468 completions, 71.0 completion %, 5,449 yards, 47 total TDs

Jacquizz Rodgers (RB, Oregon State) -- 255 rushes, 1,377 yards, 20 TDs; 74 receptions, 509 yards, 1 TD

Tim Tebow (QB, Florida) -- 182 completions, 65.2 completion %, 3,272 total yards, 31 total TDs

Greg Jones (LB, Michigan State) -- 140 tackles, 9 QB sacks

Kellen Moore (QB, Boise State) -- 254 completions, 64.8 completion %, 3,325 yards, 39 TDs

Denario Alexander (WR, Missouri) -- 107 receptions, 1,644 yards, 13 TDs

Jimmy Clausen (QB, Notre Dame) -- 289 completions, 68.0 completion %, 3,722 yards, 31 total TDs

Von Miller (DE, Texas A&M) -- 43 tackles, 17 QB sacks

Ryan Williams (RB, Virginia Tech) -- 268 rushes, 1,538 yards, 19 TDs

Rahim Moore (S, UCLA) -- 43 tackles, 9 INTs

Sunday's Quote: War

I have a cousin who joined the Marines four years ago. A soldier in the 2nd Division {3rd Battalion, 6th Regiment: "Devil Dogs"}, Griff did two tours in Iraq and would have been deployed a third time, probably to Afghanistan, had he initially enlisted just four days earlier.

Knowing that a mere 96 hours was the difference between a return to civilian life and being sent into the "Graveyard of Empires" must be tremendously relieving for my cousin, who returned home for good just 10 days ago.

I thought recently about the Brigadier General who told my aunt and uncle (Griff's parents) that American forces were fighting a "politically correct war," and that our military possessed the capacity to "clean house" if our warriors of the ground, sea, and air were fully allowed to take matters to such a hardcore level.

It's a confounding shame to realize that our military personnel are blocked from doing all that they're trained to do because of political correctness; that our troops are stymied by those who are more concerned about the welfare of those who hate us than those who defend us is yet another mind-numbing commentary on our present state of affairs.

As a result, and in remembrance of Pearl Harbor Day (tomorrow), I reached back to a voice from the past -- among the most politically incorrect of all-time -- to perhaps re-establish a sense of valor in the face of hypersensitivity, and on behalf of those who personify our core qualities as well as anyone:

"When we land against the enemy, do not forget to hit him and hit him hard. When we meet the enemy, we will kill him. We will show him no mercy. He has killed thousands of your comrades and he must die. If your company officers in leading your men against the enemy find him shooting at you and when you get within two hundred yards and him and he wishes to surrender -- oh no! That bastard will die."
-- Lt. General George S. Patton, United States Army, prior to the July 9, 1943 invasion of Sicily (Operation Husky) during World War II. Initially outnumbered by over 100,000 soldiers, the American, British and Canadian forces overcame their Axis rivals in just six weeks.

Before Sunrise

I awoke the other day, earlier than usual, after a long night of getting beat down at the FedEx World Hub (every night is a beating). Unable to return to a state of much-needed slumber, I flipped through an assortment of about 300 stations until I found myself drawn to the familiarity of a movie I couldn't quite recall. A few minutes of giving it a chance to entertain me, however, jogged my memory enough to remember this flick as one I had originally shunned.

I dredged through a few minutes of "Before Sunrise" at least 10 years ago before asking the girl I was with to change the channel. I was bored, and perhaps a bit confused, by the cerebral dialog mixed with a minimalist plot that appeared to beg for something (like gratuitous explosions) to break the monotony of watching two people talk about what seemed to be the usual Gen X crap.

Having given this little piece of cinema another go at the ripe old age of 33, I now understand its appeal. Ornamented by two wandering souls who seem destined to live happily ever after despite being separated by an ocean and six time zones, the movie depicts a deeply personal, almost spiritual, intercourse that everyone fantasizes about, but rarely get to experience for themselves.

The movie is worth your time if you get a chance.

Just Thinking Out Loud: Tiger

Only in America is it not enough to be married to a Swedish bikini model.  Way to go, Eldrick.

Secular quotes from Scripture

The Associated Press recently did a piece* on a book called "Biblical Literacy: The Essential Bible Stories Everyone Needs to Know." Authored by Case Western Reserve University Religion professor Timothy Beal, his work delves into, among other things, common references to biblical stories.

For example, the term "All things to all people" comes from 1 Corinthians. "Cast the first stone" and "Doubting Thomas" are found in the New Testament book of John. "Forbidden fruit" was originally cited in Genesis. "Salt of the earth" is written in the Gospel according to Matthew, "Woe is me" was used in the Old Testament book of Job, and "Writing on the wall" is first mentioned in Daniel.

Most Christians knew these phrases already, but the unbeliever is likely vexed to find that they've been quoting Scripture for years.

* "Quote sound familiar? It might be Scripture" by Thomas J. Sheeran. Associated Press; November 29, 2009

Sunday's Quote: Modern Liberalism defined

"A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical Liberal minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous Left-stream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."
-- Source Unknown (but I wish I knew)

Compare and contrast

Three Navy SEALs -- Petty Officers Julio Huertas, Jonathan Keefe, and Matthew McCabe -- are facing a courts-martial for their roles in giving noted Islamic militant Ahmed Hisham Abed a bloody lip. More specifically, one SEAL is accused of punching Abed in the face after he was taken into custody, and all three are accused of making false statements to cover it up.

Abed himself was wanted by American-led forces (some 40 nations in all) for orchestrating an ambush that killed four Blackwater agents five years ago while transporting supplies for a catering company. In an act that made international headlines, each security operative was burned and dragged through the streets of Fallujah before their lifeless bodies were hung from a bridge over the Euphrates River. The picture above might ring a bell.

In summary, three of our nation's elite defenders are facing a potentially life-altering trial for the cardinal sin of smacking an enemy combatant -- having declined a less stringent "Captain's Mast," they will be arraigned in military court on December 7 -- while the militant himself, it seems, will be treated as a victim.

There's so much to say about this, and yet it's difficult to find the right words.

George Washington's Thanksgiving Proclamation (220 years ago today)

Whereas it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor; and Whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me to recommend to the people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness.

Now, therefore, I do recommend and assign Thursday, the 26th day of November next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed; for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enable to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and, in general, for all the great and various favors which He has been pleased to confer upon us.

And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions; to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have shown kindness to us), and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as He alone knows to be best.

Given under my hand, at the city of New York, the 3d day of October, A.D. 1789.

Just Thinking Out Loud: Adam Lambert

Girlfriend, please.  Try to take it down a notch. Your homoerotic stunts at the AMAs were beyond unnecessary.  And letup on the makeup while you're at it.

Wanna know what Heaven is like?

Buy some Boiled Custard -- not Egg Nog or any variant of the sort.

Go to Kroger and purchase their Grade A brand of Boiled Custard. Let it sit in the refrigerator for about 24 hours. Then kick back and enjoy. You'll thank me later.

Sunday's Quote: Some hardcore truth

"It just seems like we're making a lot of mistakes on this whole calling everybody racist. Everybody's calling everybody morons and nuts. We're becoming more juvenile as a nation. The guys who won World War II and that whole generation have disappeared, and now we have a bunch of teenage twits."
-- Clint Eastwood, from the most recent issue of GQ

Just Thinking Out Loud: The Hef

Someone should encourage this creepy octogenarian to stop dancing.  He's not very good at it.  Like grandma used to say, there's no fool like an old fool.

Bending over (backwards, or otherwise)

Barack Obama is currently visiting the Asian continent with the intention of convincing the various regimes to continue buying our debt. And for good reason. According to the London Telegraph, America is about $2 trillion in the hole to China alone.

That's $2,000,000,000,000. The amount may as well be a "sideways eight."

Although one could ponder the extensive talking points of Obama's Far East tour, it is perhaps our President's submissive bow to Japan's Emperor Akihito -- a gesture which makes his obeisance to Saudi King Abdullah last April look almost exultant -- that has proven every bit as intriguing.

Don't let the picture fool you. Viewpoints from other shots make it seem as if Obama was about to grab his own ankles. Even a blog for the Los Angeles Times contrasted the difference between President Obama's henpecked bows and the manner in which previous representatives such as Vice President Dick Cheney and General Douglas MacArthur respected Japanese dignitaries without embarrassing the United States.

George Bush might have set the standard for presidential gaffes, but our current Commander-in-Chief has also made his share in just 10 months. Whether it was Obama's flub of the presidential oath, knocking his dome on the entrance to Marine One, his various misadventures with the all-important teleprompter, or the Special Olympics blast about his own bowling game, it seems this most recent faux pas smacks of something else -- as if Obama is somehow apologizing for America yet again.

According to NPR, the President recovered somewhat by hedging a reporter's question about the atomic bomb America dropped on Hiroshima that helped to end World War II. Obama did the right thing by not taking her bait, but I wish he would have responded with a redirect of sorts, something like...

"Was Japan right for siding with Nazi Germany and Fascist Italy? What about Pearl Harbor, sweetheart? You gonna blame us for that one, too?"

At least he didn't bend over.

Sunday's Quote: Liberalism & Socialism comingled

"The American people will never knowingly adopt Socialism. But under the name of 'liberalism' they will adopt every fragment of the Socialist program until one day America will be a Socialist nation without ever knowing how it happened."
-- Norman M. Thomas (1884-1968), noted pacifist, Princeton alumnus, ordained Presbyterian minister, co-founder of what would become the ACLU, and six-time Presidential nominee for the Socialist Party of America

The double social standard (for lack of a better way of putting it)

Carrie Prejean has endured a nearly unprecedented barrage of criticism for not endorsing same-sex marriage during the Miss USA pageant last April. Having finished first runner-up in Miss USA, she was dethroned by Miss California officials two months later for "continued breach of contract." Additionally the ambiguous reason behind her de-crowning was largely the end result of "celebrity blogger" Perez Hilton's smear campaign.
 

Hilton (born Mario Lavandeira) is the one responsible for asking Prejean the now famous question about gay marriage during the Miss USA pageant. His militant disapproval of her reply led him to make a variety of disparaging claims against Prejean soon after, which included referring to her as a "dumb bitch" -- and all because she offered the same defense for traditional marriage as the Liberal Democrat who now occupies The White House.
 

It should be noted that Perez Hilton released his first song in September 2008, a single about Gonorrhea called "The Clap."  During any other time, this fact alone would be enough to nullify any perspective he would ever attempt to impose upon others.
 

This controversy is no different from the mass of insults Sarah Palin continues to tolerate a full year after Barack Obama's election became official. As if her electoral defeat wasn't enough for Palin's detractors, it seems the Left wanted to make an example of her, just as they have Carrie Prejean. And why? Because Palin and Prejean (among others) dare to endorse a standard found only in the Holiest of all books even despite their past imperfections.
 

They are talented, accomplished, poised under intense scrutiny, honest and imperfect, and not filled with the rage that consumes their Left Wing counterparts -- a fact conveniently overlooked by those who find it easier to dismiss non-"Progressives" as hypocritically divisive hate-mongers.
 

Without question, my girl Carrie -- who turned down $140,000 to pose for Playboy -- has made a few errors in judgment that have been well-documented by those who celebrate those shortcomings. Yet Conservatives are evidently more capable of recognizing the difference between making mistakes and cultivating mistakes, and that will always lead them down a path separate from political correctness and social hypersensitivity.