Showing posts with label Jersey Shore. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jersey Shore. Show all posts

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Just Thinking Out Loud: "Golden pipes" and some guidos

It's difficult to wipe the grin from my own face when Ted Williams lights up.  His story is a testament to hope, perseverance and God's grace despite his many flaws, and yet it's his sincerity that makes me want to hug him.  Recently hired for voice work by MSNBC, among others, I could not be happier for "golden pipes."  Let's hope he stays on the straight and narrow.

Note: I'm emotionally invested.  God help me if this proves an elaborate hoax.

Nearly 8.5 million people -- practically Super Bowl numbers for a cable network -- tuned in to MTV last Thursday for the debut of Jersey Shore's third season, and I'm proud to say that I avoided the GTL fever this time around.  Perhaps most notable is Deena (far right), the new girl who describes herself as "class in a glass and party in a body," presumably with a heavy northern accent that omits the letter r.  I pray for the end of this phenomenon.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Sunday's Quote: 140-character maximum

I often wondered about having my own Twitter feed, and now that I've had this virtual soapbox since mid-March, I understand it's appeal.  Aside from the first dozen or so Tweets that went missing (and never recovered), I have derived a list -- originally intended to be a top 10 -- of my 40 personal favorites:

1) "I'm not a vegetarian, but picking off an unsuspecting deer like a sniper does not appeal to me, nor would it make me feel more like a man."
-- May 6, 4:44 AM

2) "The FAA is about to fine FedEx $1.6 million.  My bad."
-- May 19, 1:11 PM

3) "Atheism doesn't seem nearly as plausible when your jetliner takes an unexpected nosedive at 37,000 feet."
-- April 18, 6:32 AM

4) "There's a difference between antiquated dogma and Truth.  The meaning of Good Friday is what separates Christianity from all the others."
-- April 2, 3:08 PM

5) "Does it feel like we are being conditioned to ignore the evidence directly in front of our faces per a fear of being falsely labeled?"
-- May 28, 3:12 AM

6) "Be not guilt-tripped into submission.  Ever."
-- May 31, 3:29 PM

7) "Hey China, how many illegals do you have?  I figured you were too busy oppressing political dissidents and the Tibetans to notice us."
-- May 17, 5:07 PM

8) "Black Conservatives are practically heroes to me.  They know what they believe, why they believe it, & and are prepared to defend it anytime."
-- April 6, 6:25 PM

9) "My first lesson in management came about eight years ago: When everyone says 'You can trust me,' it means you can't trust anyone."
-- May 22, 3:18 AM

10) "When a Leftist (Jon Stewart) says 'Go F yourself,' it's funny & cool.  If a Right Winger says the same thing, it's bigoted and mean-spirited."
-- April 21, 5:44 PM

11) "I've learned that you can't make a self-esteem omelet without breaking a few 'friendships' (no matter how good they may appear to be)."
-- May 13, 12:05 PM

12) "I'm assuming Fox News has a rule that says female anchors, unequivocally, must resemble Miss America contestants."
-- March 28, 1:37 PM

13) "As if The View wasn't mind-numbing enough, who told Joy Behar that having her own show would be a good idea?"
-- May 25, 6:15 PM

14) "Not to brag, but I am intelligent, passionate, and blessed with exquisite taste."
-- April 9, 5:15 AM

15) "Mexico doesn't hesitate to deport anyone who enters their country without proper ID... but America can't?  I'm really beside myself on this."
-- April 27, 8:22 PM

16) "Never yield to false labels."
-- May 10, 4:51 PM

17) "Actually Mr. President, a nation without borders is no nation at all.  So yes, we really are defined by our borders.  Stop with the rhetoric."
-- May 19, 11:12 AM

18) "'Jersey Shore' typifies everything I dislike, belittle, and strive to avoid.  Just sayin'."
-- March 29, 3:15 PM

19) "An Andy Warhol self-portrait (c. '86) sold three days ago for over $32.5 million.  That, my friends, is lunacy."
-- May 15, 5:24 PM

20) "Hey Rev. Al: 'Take our country back' is, indeed, code.  It means 'Socialism sucks.'  Implying a racial context is garbage."
-- March 29, 4:27 PM

21) "The Left is fixated with the mere idea of H.C. reform, and the Right is focused on its fiscal reality.  The difference is self-explanatory."
-- March 28, 7:14 PM

22) "Do kids today realize that the vast majority of the music their generation listens to is complete crap?"
-- April 1, 1:55 AM

23) "I hear that Aerosmith 'damn near' split up.  Maybe playing some real Rock 'n' Roll, instead of pop songs, would heal old wounds."
-- March 31, 4:07 AM

24) "So the Tea Party is worthy of every negative label, but La Raza's self-righteous incitement of sedition and revolution is just fine.  Wow."
-- May 12, 12:58 PM

25) "Portfolio.com ranks Memphis 64th (out of 67) for quality of life among metro areas with 750,000 or more.  Don't move here."
-- May 24, 11:03 AM

26) "'An Inconvenient Truth' mentioned threat of rising sea levels to U.S. beaches, which explains Gore's new purchase: a $9 million beach house."
-- May 7, 3:50 AM

27) "Opposition to Arizona's illegal immigrant law (SB 1070) crumbles when compared to Mexico's immigrant laws.  They're draconian & racist."
-- May 21, 5:44 PM

28) "So a guy in Missouri with no front teeth and less than $30 to his name won the $258 million Powerball lottery.  Life... is... not... fair."
-- April 23, 4:51 PM

29) "Evidently Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews don't realize that condescension & partisan hackery make them neither appealing nor believable."
-- May 10, 3:41 AM

30) "Fox News' Megyn Kelly is what we heterosexual males refer to as 'a total package.'  She really is dreamy."
-- April 1, 4:20 PM

31) "Must the Williams sisters dress like strippers for nearly every tennis tournament?"
-- May 23, 5:07 PM

32) "Someone tell Halle Berry to stop calling me.  Just because she's available now, it doesn't necessarily mean I'm interested.  Thanks anyway."
-- May 3, 5:47 AM

33) "Is it just me, or is Sarah Jessica Parker viciously unattractive?"
-- April 21, 3:31 PM

34) "Gabourey Sidibe was on SNL last night.  She reminds me of someone, but who?  Oh yeah, about 3,000 of my co-workers."
-- April 25, 2:48 PM

35) "Interesting how peaceful the Tea Parties are, and how rambunctious the pro-illegal alien rally in Arizona was.  A noticeable contrast indeed."
-- April 27, 6:59 PM

36) "Our financial conundrum is the result of both the GOP & the Dems disregard for our national welfare.  It's like they're doing it on purpose."
-- May 22, 3:51 PM

37) "According to The Daily Beast, my home State of Tennessee is the most corrupt in the nation.  But to be fair, most of that is Memphis' fault."
-- May 13, 3:50 AM

38) "I feel the same about the 'Right Wing' militia in Michigan as I feel about the Left Wing militia in Congress and the media."
-- March 30, 5:06 PM

39) "You might say the Tea Party has some clout.  Get used to it."
-- May 18, 7:25 PM

40) "As pennies become dollars, inches become miles.  That is how every journey begins... but where do I start?"
-- April 3, 3:46 AM

Monday, January 4, 2010

MTV's "Jersey Shore"

I've always been curious about the Northeast.  Having never been further above the Mason-Dixon than Maryland, I know little except that the winters are long and brutal, the buildings are tall and stoic, the colleges are old and expensive, and the Democrat strongholds are beyond anything to which the GOP can compare (except for Texas and Utah).

I also know about the Northerners' notoriety for surliness.  Enter Jersey Shore, MTV's newest reality show; a series so crass that UNICO -- an Italian-American organization founded in 1922 -- called for MTV to pull the series before the first episode debuted.  And having recently wasted 10 minutes of my life watching this unabashed reinforcement of every imaginable stereotype, I now understand why.

It's unreasonable to base a general opinion of over 50 million people on television, movies, and even word-of-mouth (as I am equally aware of the South's reputation).  Yet I conclude without reservation that "DJ Pauly D," "JWoww," "Snooki," and "The Situation" have almost singlehandedly quelled any desire to explore their portion of the country.  God willing, I'll keep myself where I belong.